I've spent most of my life here.
I moved away, multiple times, but it always welcomes me back with open arms.
It holds so much of me.
My fears, my joy, me dancing while no one can see, my silent tears on my pillow before bed, my intimate moments with God...
I can't believe I'm leaving with the intent of never coming back.
My mom already has plans to make it into her room.
How dare she! This is MY room! It watched me grow up into the person I am today. It wasn't made for crafting and lounging in!
I move tomorrow and I spent the entire day just sitting in my bed looking at the room that describes me perfectly.
Deep brown paint, hard wood floors with paint marks from all the times I've painted and not been clean, beautifully framed pictures placed perfectly on the walls, two closets to hold my favorite possessions, a big bed that sits under my window that looks out onto the beautiful park.
I won't ever get to be awoken to old men playing tennis across the street or women that talk too loud while walking their dogs in the morning. How I'll miss hearing my dad's loud footsteps in the morning as he goes into his study for his morning talks with God. And hearing my brother rush into the shower before he's late for school. I'll miss waking up and going down the hall to see my mom sitting on her bed watching old movies. I'll miss hearing my dogs bark at every passerby, and watching the little kids practice soccer in the park everyday.
I'm so scared to grow up. Not because I'm afraid of my future or anything like that, but because I just love my life right now. How can it get any better than it already is? It's weird how much a room means to me. It just represents so much. Leaving this room is like leaving my childhood, and I don't know if I'm ready for that.
As I cry my last tears in this beautiful room that holds so many memories, I've come to realize that change happens when it's supposed to. You grow up because that's how God intended it, and life only gets better with every new day.
Goodbye old bedroom.
Goodbye old house.
Here's to making new memories, in new rooms, with new people...
3 comments:
Ok - I know you've only been gone for a couple of days, but it's time for you to stop playing "grown-up" and come home! Your messy room :) is the one constant around here that I can count on! I need you! Seriously, you've made your point, it's time for you to pack up your blue jean collection and come back home!
mom
where did you move to?
growing up is the weirdest thing...so weird, but so so exciting...and your life seems so exciting right now. "You grow up because that's how God intended it, and life only gets better with every new day." love that. LOVE it. this is for sure going in our book.
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