Hope is coming.

I've felt this heartbreak before.

I know this pain.

I know these tears.

I never wanted to know them again, but here I am.

I know this confusion.

I know this unsettled emotion.

I know this anger.

Can someone hear me now?

Yesterday we got the news that another close family friend was going to pass away from the deadliest of diseases, cancer. 

They gave her only a couple more days to live and breath her beautiful life.

Kim is the most amazing of women. 

She sits in prayer rooms and prays for other people with cancer, forgetting that she herself suffers the same pain. 

She calls and sees how our family is doing, not minding that her own family is dealing with something so much more intense than ours could ever imagine.

She is upright, righteous and holy before her Lord and consistently gives Him all the glory for every breath she breathes. 

How can Jesus take away something that good from us? Isn't our world so much better with her in it? 

Jesus, I just don't understand.  

As my mom tearfully described to me the last time she would get to talk to her precious and dear friend, the way that Kim could barely talk but wouldn't let the phone go, I sat with tears streaming down my face, crying out at the injustice of it all and realizing how important living life for God is. 

I think of how miserable this disease would have been for Kim if she hadn't had a God to believe in. How terrifying it would be for her husband and two children to not know where their wife and mother would be going after she passes. The fact that her husband can pray for God's grace and mercy for his wife to pass painlessly is a true testament to the power of our God in the workings of their lives.

My heart is breaking at the loss of such a wonderful person. 

Kim is a true example of a woman who devoted her life to Christ, took the good with the bad, gave glory to Him every step of the way, loved her family and friends the way that Christ loved her and will truly leave an indelible mark in the lives of so many people.

A loss so deep makes me think of the importance of life. How can I not take my relationship with God so seriously? How can I waste even one more day? How can I not be the best example of Christ that I can be to every person I know? Kim was.

"For we, we are not long here

Out time is but a breath, so we better breath it.

And I was made to live,

I was made to love

I was made to know You.

Hope is coming for me."

-Brooke Fraser