If you know me on a personal level, you know that more often than not I put all of people's weird problems, conditions, personality quirks or disorders onto their childhood. I'm not any type of psychologist, nor have I ever studied psychology, but I believe this to be true 100% of the time. Why? Because it's always been true in my life.
Countless times in this space alone I've referenced back to my childhood and how it affects me today. There's so much that's gone unsaid, for the privacy of my beautiful parents and siblings, but I want to try to paint a picture today that explains something deep; something really raw and beautiful. I don't want to give too many details, but I want to remind you of how precious your childhood memories are. I want to encourage those that are parents to remember that as your children grow, the things you taught them as a child aren't gone. You need not hound them when they're old, you taught them well when they were young. Sometimes even when you don't feel like you did one thing right.
My Jody (my favorite woman alive, my Mother) is in love with old movies. My first memory of a movie would easily be Gone With The Wind (Swoon, Rhett) or Diamonds Are A Girl's Best Friend (Oh Marilyn). Our home was always filled with old westerns, classic black and whites and too much Turner Classic Movies. I'm sure that these old movies resonate somewhere in my Jody's own childhood, but I've never really asked why. It doesn't matter much, because now these movies are deeply rooted into my own.
I have a younger sister. You won't get to know her well on this blog, but she's a beautiful girl who hasn't had the easiest road to travel down. She's adopted, and although she doesn't live near me, she is my sister and I try to honor her in the way that Christ asks us all to- with love and respect, despite our own futile opinions. Reserve your judgement for another place, my friend, for you do not know our story. Either way, my Jesus loves her as much as He loves me, so even though I don't understand her, my heart is filled with love for this sweet sister of mine.
She facebook chatted me recently and told me all about what she's doing in her life. I told her openly that I didn't think she should do this or that, and then she said "well enough about me, how are you?" I responded with a few pat answers and she then said, "How is Virginia? I'd love to visit because of the snow." I laughed in my head and said "There's not been much snow at all this year, it's not anything that great." and she said "Really?? I see pictures of how beautiful it looks when the snow covers the barn in the backyard, and I always think that it reminds me 'Meet Me In St. Louis!'"
This was a moment. This was when I was reminded that life intersects in divine ways. Here her and I are, worlds apart, yet we are tied together by a deep rooted commonality- our Mother's love of old movies. In her head and in mine, we see the same thing when we see snow- we see classic romance movies that unfold under a snow covered night. We both see our house on Churchill Dr. that was filled with the sound of Judy Garland and Tom Drake as they sang together under the snow, dreaming about being in love and beginning a life together. (For the record, Meet Me In St. Louis has always been my all time favorite old movie. It's the secret key to my heart, I think.)
Her path in life has been upsetting. It's made no sense, it's been dishonoring, disreputable, selfish, angry, dishonest, foul... but hasn't mine as well? Not to the same extent, albeit, but in no way would I be able to stand before the same God she will and say that I am blameless in His sight. And although our lives have taken different paths, are we not all the same at the core? Are we not all just lost souls longing to be redeemed?
I am flawed, I am broken, I am pieced together only by His justice and grace, exactly as she is. That same God that saved me as a little girl, that takes me into His overwhelming presence day in and day out, hasn't forgotten about her either. My Heavenly Father didn't abandon one of His daughters to save the other, instead He died for us both.
And although she doesn't see it right now, although it's too big for her in this moment, this little memory that we both share reminds me that just as God revealed Himself to me, He'll reveal Himself to her. He loves her with the same fiery passion that He loves me with, and He hasn't ever lost sight of that love. When it's time, when God's glory can best be shown- when He's written so much into her story- He'll make his presence known. Maybe even under a snow filled St. Louis sky.
No comments:
Post a Comment