Foxes in the field.

I was driving down the freeway at 7:45 in the morning (driving is a slight exaggeration, the traffic here is borderline unbearable) and I'm crying. Not just a tear, not a few, but really really crying.

I was driving to yet another appointment that felt like it was going to be a complete waste of my time. It's amazing how that little devil of hopelessness creeps in after a few bad reports, and how easy it is to lose all faith and encouragement, just as that little critter would like.

Brooke Fraser's new cd was playing, and the song "Crows & Locust" comes on, and I don't even realize that I'm even listening until I'm crying. I'd presume that's what happens when God's trying to get your attention, so I started listening to the lyrics. Over and over again I let God speak to me with these words:

"It was the age the foxes came for the fields.

We were bleeding as we bowed to kneel,

and prayed for mercy...

She limps on up to the top of a mount,

looks at the faltered harvest.

Feels her sweat in the ground and a burn in her nose,

and the knowing in her guts something's still gonna grow.

She ain't leaving 'till it does.

What can wash away my sin? Nothing but the blood.

What can make me whole again? Nothing but the blood."

The foxes are always going to come for the fields, but that doesn't mean you get to give up. Sickness, financial ruin, twists in your reality, decisions that you make that you realize weren't the right ones, heartbreak, death... those are the foxes that come for the fields of your life; for the prosperity that God promises. Your life is a battle; a battle to conquer and find faith and believe in a God you can't see. It's a battle to stand and believe for a breakthrough, even when it seems impossible. It's a battle to climb to the top of the mountain and declare that you aren't going to leave until something grows, even when all you see is a faltered, destroyed growth. Today, I’m looking my foxes in the face and saying, "nothing can make me whole but the blood of my Jesus, and I'm not leaving until it does."