Lessons From The Boys:

I'm so lucky to have a close group of guy friends whose opinions I value often times more than my own. Their blatant honesty has become some of my favorite entertainment, because they're never afraid to tell it to me exactly how it is. In an attempt to gain new perspective, I asked them all a set of questions that I felt all girls need to hear the answers to. So, these are my lessons that I learned from the boys:

1. Do you believe that guys and girls can be friends?

“I believe in platonic friendships, but I believe in platonic friendships with boundaries. The best of friends turn into relationships, because that’s what you want. The best foundation for a good relationship is best friends, so it’s not completely out of line to see that guys and girls being friends could quickly turn into more than that. So, boundaries. Know your boundaries, they're different for each person and each friendship. Understand when too close is too close and know when it might be time to put some distance in the relationship.” - Boy 1

(I love this idea. I love that someone finally showed me that there isn’t a black and white answer to this question. So I suppose the hardest part then becomes setting boundaries and not going back on them.)

2. What is the biggest misconception between girls and guys?

“Guys never stop pursuing because all guys are goal oriented in that regard. We’re created to pursue, and that doesn’t go away. If I see something I want, I promise you that I’ll try to have it. If he doesn’t like you, then he’s not going to try to come after you. Therefore, if he’s not coming after you, he just doesn’t want you. If he liked you, you would know, men don’t send mixed signals. Well, they might, but a good guy isn’t sending mixed signals. If he is, then he’s probably playing you. And if a guy wants you and doesn't pursue you then he doesn't deserve you. Believe that. Any goal that a man desires deserves his sacrifice of whatever it takes to reach the prize, and if he isn't willing to sacrifice it all, then he isn't deserving of the reward. You’re worth the sacrifice because you’re the greatest prize. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. ” - Boy 2

(The amount of times that I’ve gone to Joe and said “Wait, I’m not sure if he likes me or not” and the amount of times that I’ve heard that exact response is why I love him for his honesty. Sometimes I think that girls fish around to try to find the answers that we’re hoping to find, instead of believing the truth that’s harder to accept.)

3.What is the least attractive quality that a female can possess? The most attractive?

“Selfishness. A lot of things define that, but if she’s feeling herself too much, then she’s selfish. And that’s so unattractive. Second to that would be being closed minded. Don’t ever be unwilling to listen to someone else’s perspective. On the flip side, nothing is more attractive than genuine authenticity in herself.”- Boy 1

“Weakness and insecurity and the most attractive thing is confidence. Nothing is less attractive than a girl who is weak about her decisions, her personality and her overall convictions about life. How can I be challenged if you aren’t even sure of what you believe in? Don’t be afraid to say what you’re thinking because you’re scared someone is going to disagree with it. Also, let your no’s be no’s and your yes’ be yes. Say the things you mean, and mean the things you say. If you don’t mean it or you have no intention of following thru, don’t say it at all. All words should be taken seriously. Nothing is more attractive than someone who knows who they are, what they believe in and what they want out of life. It makes me believe in them too. If i’m attracted to you, then don’t tell me I shouldn’t be. If I tell you that I love you, then don’t tell me that you’re not worthy. I want you to believe that you’re deserving of the very best entirely apart from me. Find your confidence before you find me.”- Boy 2

“Whining. A girl who thinks that everything in the world that happens to her, only happens to her, and that her problems are so much bigger than someone else’s. Also when she believes that she can’t handle the every day problems that come at her. Life’s hard and you’re capable, you CAN deal with this on your own. The most attractive thing is passion. Be passionate about whatever you’re doing and I’m bound to love it too. Also, selflessness. Be willing to give up who you are to help someone else”- Boy 3

4. What do you think men and women want most out of relationships?

“Acceptance. Will someone love me for who I am? I think one starts out looking for the companionship aspect of being together, the fun, etc. And then as you realize another person knows everything about you and still chooses to love you, it deepens the initial aspect”- My Dad

“Men want respect. Women want to be loved and nurtured.”- Boy 1.

“Women want to feel emotionally wanted and desired; they want to feel that somebody values and wants them around. Girls are so attracted to the feeling of being wanted and fought for and pursued. And men want security. They want to be respected, encouraged and told they’re great. "- Boy 2.