Day 1: Pumpkin Spice Latte's

True story: I hate pumpkin spice latte's. I know that I may be the only person in all of America that feels that way, but it's true. I actually hate pumpkin tasting anything. Hate. Loathe. Despise. I probably woke up one Thanksgiving day as a child and decided that I no longer liked pumpkin pie and from then on out I've hated it all. But, I do not hate Fall, and that is what automatically comes along with pumpkin spice latte's... so, there is where I'll go.

Fall is a funny time of year; you're forced to transition whether you like it or not. Spring to Summer isn't always that huge. You know, you still wear flip flops and dresses and maybe the only real change is that you listen to Rascal Flatts a little more than you did the week before. But sometime towards the end of August you get tired of wearing little to no clothing because you have to, and your heart longs to be bundled and to cuddle and to walk around with a hot pumpkin spice latte in hand. All the sudden you find yourself wanting John Mayer and Damien Rice to sing you to sleep while you're bundled under layers of blankets. You desperately check the weather while praying that it will miraculously say "65 with a breeze" instead of "Another Scorcher: 103!" Fall does something in your heart. Fall beckons deep within you and cries out to a deep that you forgot existed. A deep that longs for something new; for a change you so desperately desire. Fall ushers out Summer memories and Summer mistakes and brings in new opportunities that you sometimes don't even realize you need. Fall comes whether you're ready or not, and with that comes the heartache of leaving a Summer you loved to make room for what's to come.

This Fall came with bittersweet tones for me. I had the most magical Summer of my life. Marked by amazing friends, beautiful places and sacred memories (which I promise you'll hear more about in the next week), it was a season of my life that changed me at the very core of who I am. And before I knew it, Fall was here to take me away. So far away, actually. September 17th marked the first day of my new life on the East Coast. Though I knew about this transition for most of the Summer, it didn't make it any easier the closer that it got. Towards the end, I found myself trying desperately to put a stop on my days. To slam my feet into the ground as to keep even one more day from passing. The thought of leaving my life that I loved so much to go whole heartedly into a life that I couldn't even imagine was so impossible for me. But, like I said, Fall transitions whether you're ready or not, so here I am.

Fall here is beautiful. Remarkable, even.

There are more tree's that one could even imagine, and watching the leaves change colors and drop is unreal scenery. But I am nostalgic for Fall's of the past where the biggest challenge was how to get our homework done before the Varsity Soccer Game... or where the biggest transition you were going to have to experience was switching out your Summer TV shows for the highly anticipated return of Grey's Anatomy. But those days are gone and I'm left to explore this new Fall by myself, in a new city that I don't know and with more heartbreak than my heart has known before.

I know this is good for me. I too am longing for something new, for that natural transition that comes and for new opportunities that I'm not even aware are coming my way. But I miss this Summer, and I miss my friends and I don't think that I've ever begged for shorts and my havaiana's instead of riding boots and scarves, but it's a new season and today is a new day and Fall is here whether I was ready or not.